Synopsis[]
Before moving into a retirement home, Grandma uses one last wish to see that her self-centered family finds out what it's like to grow old.
Production Details[]
- Jane Connell as Grandma Rollins
- Kate McGregor-Stewart as May Rollins
- Paul Avery as Frank Rollins
- Kelly Wolf as Greta Rollins
- Greg Itzin as Newton
- Paul Sparer as Narrator
Plot[]
Act I[]
As Grandma is napping in her chair, Greta (the grand-daughter) comes home, yelling at her mom that she is home and doing cartwheels in the house. She rushes up the stairs. Grandma wakes up and wonders who woke her up. As Greta continues to yell for her mom, Grandma asks Greta to come and tell her about her day at school. Greta repeatedly asks Grandma where Mom is, but Grandma cannot hear Greta over the loud music playing and thinks that Greta asked her if she got her hair done.
As Mary Rollins comes into the house, the phone starts ringing. Greta is hyper and wants her mom to hang up because she is expecting a call. At this point, Grandma complains about there not being any olives in the refrigerator but no one pays any attention to her. Greta yells at her mom to get off the phone. As Grandma gets up, she grabs Greta and tucks Greta's shirt in, telling her that she should take dancing lessons like Grandma did when she was younger. Still yelling at her mom for being on the phone, Greta runs up the stairs. Grandma goes over to Mary and tells her that Greta should be taking dancing lessons rather than swinging around on monkey bars. Mary ignores her, as she is on the phone, and then begins to yell at Greta as she blasts music from her room.
After Mary gets off the phone, she tells Greta that Greta should call her boyfriend Buzz as opposed to waiting for him to call. Mary and Greta do some stretches. Grandma mentions the olives again, but as the phone rings and Mary talks to another friend, they continue to ignore her. As Grandma tries to see if Mary heard about her idea for Greta to take dancing lessons, Mary gets irritated and sends Grandma to watch television.
Grandma takes Mary's advice and goes to tun the television on. It turns on, but the dial breaks off in her hand and it is very loud, prompting Mary to once again complain about the noise because she is on the phone.
Act II[]
Grandma is cleaning up a spill on the kitchen table as Mr. Rollins walks in. She tells him to wear his slippers so he won't catch a cold, but he brushes her off because it is summer and not cold. She tells him about a board on the porch that almost caused her to fall and he promises to fix it later. When trying to eat a donut, Grandma smacks his hand and insists that he eats bran cereal instead. Rollins tells her to get off his back, but she insists that since she is his mother, it's her job to be on his back.
Greta's outfit
Greta comes into the kitchen dressed in new wave clothes and a skirt to which her father and Grandma immediately object to. The family all eats their donuts and Greta and Mary begin to lose patience with Grandma. Grandma interjects that it is not fun to grow old, but no one really pays her any mind. Grandma trips over Mr. Rollins's briefcase. When her son picks her up, she again talks about how she used to be a dancer.
Rollins and Mary want to talk to Grandma about something and she tries to keep them from talking about it. Even though Grandma is obviously scared, they tell her they want her to listen to what the man coming to see her that night has to say.
Act III[]
A gentleman is showing a slideshow to the Rollins family of a retirement community known as Tranquil Gardens. Although Rollins, Greta, and Mary look happy about it, Grandma sits in a chair by herself and looks terrified. The man tells Grandma that the place is so wonderful that they will be strengthening her "smiling muscles" because she will be smiling so much. He tells her they will give her a deluxe studio apartment with a private bathroom and show her pictures of the recreation room. There are added services for added expenses and a once a day visit by a nurse to see if Grandma is "still kicking".
A humdinger of a place
The man talking about Tranquil Gardens politely scolds Grandma for her negative attitude. He lists the price for $699.99 a month with extra charges for meals, laundry, medical, refrigerator ($12 a month) and pay toilets. When the family looks shocked at the revelation of the toilets, the man informs them that he was just kidding. He tells Grandma to sign. Even though it is obvious she does not want to, she signs the forms as her family looks on.
The man from Tranquil Gardens tells Grandma he will pick her up the following week. The family is excited and decides they will make the last week with Grandma the best it could be and asks what she would like to do. When Grandma obviously does not want to take part, the family finally tells her that she should make a wish and that they will do everything in their power to make it come true. Greta rudely patronizes Grandma and asks her if she has a wish, which Grandma informs her that she does. However, rather than tell the family her wish, she just repeats in her head that she has a wish.
Act IV[]
Grandma is looking at a picture of her late husband. She asks him if he knows what she has left from him, other than his boxer shorts, and says it was his belief in her. While Mary goes on and on about her newly waxed floors, Greta keeps asking her for answers to her homework. Pretending that she is in a commercial for floor wax, Mary goes into the kitchen and falls. Greta runs in to help her. Mary injures her ankle, hoping it is just a sprain. When Greta tries to help Mary up, she drops her back on the floor. Grandma comes into the kitchen to see if Mary hurt herself and accidentally kicks the metal bucket against her other ankle.
Later, Grandma is folding laundry as Mary comes down the stairs with a cane and a load of laundry. She calls for Greta to answer the phone, but Greta doesn't get there in time because she is practicing her gymnastics. Mary drops the laundry and whomever was on the phone hangs up before Mary can make it to the phone to answer.
Mary complains about her age to Greta and then the phone rings and it is Greta's boyfriend Buzz. Mr. Rollins comes into the house and Mary tells him to fix the loose board on the porch that Grandma had complained about earlier. Rollins tells Mary that she sounds like his mother. Mary immediately begins asking Rollins if he bought the groceries she wanted, also like Grandma had done earlier. Rollins looks surprised at himself for forgetting. Greta then comes down the stairs and attempts to do a cartwheel and falls and injures herself. Grandma seems concerned, but smiles with self-satisfaction when Greta realizes she has pulled something in her neck.
Later that night at dinner, Mary tells Greta that she should be having more calcium. Greta complains about her neck pains. Mary wonders aloud how someone as sweet as Greta can talk about things like throwing up. Greta insists that she is not sweet but interesting. Her neck still hurts, though. Out of the blue Grandma mentions that her feet feel good and Mary comments that her own feet are hurting. Mary complains about her pain, but insists that the doctor told her that at her age, her foot pain should go away. Mary then scolds Greta for not closing her mouth when she chews. Her parents insist that Greta should wear a neck brace but she is adamant that she will not.
Rollins comes in and checks on Grandma, who is feeling completely fine in the midst of the rest of the family not feeling fine. Rollins takes all of the dishes into the kitchen and then trips and injures himself on the wax floor.
Act V[]
Greta is wearing a neck brace that has the words "I ♥ Buzz" on it as she drinks a glass of milk. Mary asks Grandma if she wanted tea or sugar and Grandma corrects her because she wanted salt. Mary screams as she reaches for the salt and shows her husband that she has liver spots on the back of her hands. Rollins insists that it is no big deal, but Mary insists that he go to the drug store and buy her some vanishing cream because she cannot drive on a sprained foot. Rollins refuses because he has to finish fixing the washing machine. Rollins tries to calm her down, but Mary is upset because she feels she is getting old and ugly and she leaves the room, hurting Greta's neck as she passes by. Grandma asks her son if he wants coffee.
Later at the table, Mary is putting vanishing cream on her hands and Greta has her neck brace off. Grandma follows Rollins into the room. He insists that whatever they are looking for will not be in the closet. He opens it up and finds Grandma's favorite blanket. When he pulls it down, something that looks like a coal bin falls on his head and he collapses. Mary has Greta call Dr. Johnson. Greta seems to have a hearing issue but she eventually leaves. Grandma goes over to Mary and tells her to asks him his name to see if he is all right. Mary's hearing seems to be suffering, though, and she keeps asking Grandma to speak up. Eventually Grandma gets annoyed and yells "Ask him his name!" at Mary, to which Mary complies. Grandma is the only one who can hear anything that anyone is saying, however.
Act VI[]
Grandma is sitting at the table for her last meal before leaving to Tranquil Gardens. She is dressed very nicely and looks great. The rest of the family is in shambles due to the many trials they have been put
through in the week. They ask Grandma again about her wish, because they claim they wanted to do something special for her. Rollins tries to tell a story but he can't remember anyone's names and Mary keeps correcting him. Mary asks Greta if Greta took her toothbrush. Grandma smiles as the family tries to deal with the sort of issues that she normally deals with.
Rollins tells a story about seeing his mom dance when she was younger. He doesn't remember much and she has to correct him. Very happy, Grandma begins to hum a tune. The rest of the family seem tired and do not feel well. The doorbell rings and Grandma goes to answer it without her walker.
The wish comes true.
The man from Tranquil Gardens is at the door and asks if the family wants to tell her goodbye. Grandma slyly tells him they might want to come with her. He and she go into the dining room and the man is shocked to see all three members of Grandma's family are old and wrinkled. Grandma smiles as she realizes that wishes that can come true.
Quotes[]
Greta Rollins: "Mom, when was Richard Nixon president?"
May Rollins: "When I was pregnant with you. That's why you're so weird."